Would you buy a car with no brakes? The teen brain is comparable to a car built and equipped with all the bells and whistles ? but no brakes, experts say. Like the car without brakes, the teen brain is prone to risk-taking and accidents. Is it any wonder many parents find the teen years some of the most challenging of parenthood?
Studies on the teenage brain ? fascinating research only possible since the late 1990s with the development of brain-imaging technology ? bring parents good news and bad news.
The good news
The studies offer some explanation for teens? often unexplainable behavior ? moodiness, impulsiveness, disrespect, disorganization and other annoying traits. Knowing why they exhibit these traits can help parents talk more effectively with their teens.
Perhaps even more important, the science can guide parents to better communicate with their teen about the severe effects drugs, alcohol and other high risk-taking behaviors can have on their developing brain. Youth who begin drinking before age 15 are five times more likely to become addicted to or abuse alcohol later in life than those who begin drinking at or after age 21, according to The Partnership for a Drug Free America.
?When talking with your kids about drug and alcohol use, you can honestly say to them, ?I want to protect your brain from being damaged before it?s fully developed?,? says Ronda Lettner, a family therapist and alcohol/drug counselor.
The bad news
With or without the latest brain research, teens will naturally make mistakes, and it can be painful to watch. Teens will take risks, mess up, and face consequences.
?Why take risks?
Though brain development continues throughout one?s lifespan, adolescence is a critical window when connections are forming throughout the brain, says Jacquelyn Hammen, a clinical substance abuse counselor. This critical window extends from early adolescence until roughly age 21 in females and age 25 in males.
?Most notably are the connections between the brain?s more emotion-laden, impulsive mid-brain region and the sophisticated, rational decision-making frontal lobe region,? Hammen says. ?The impulsive, free-spirited, adventurous brain of the adolescent is perfect for the developmental task of setting themselves apart from the family unit and discovering an identity of their own. It?s wired perfectly for the job to move from the safety of home into a more complex world.?
Although teen brains are wired to move out of the house, the ?caution? and ?stop? buttons aren?t completely developed just yet. That?s one reason why teens are more likely to take risks.
And while many adults think teens act as invincible as Superman, brain research shows they know they aren?t, but they just don?t care. The rewards of bad behavior for teens, such as the thrill of a speeding car with friends, far outweigh the risks in their mind.
?Some teens are aware of the possible consequences of their risky behavior and may even believe they are taking steps to guard against potential dangers,? Hammen says. ?The difference between teens and adults is teens? willingness to take the risk, to ?chance it.? They are less careful than adults.?
In short, teens see more incentives in certain activities, especially those involving their friends, than adults do. Parents can help counter risky choices by offering teens compelling reasons for making good decisions.
For example, the privilege to drive a car is not a ?given?; teens are not ?entitled? to drive simply because they turn 16. ?Parents can structure expectations for driving so teens earn the chance to drive by achieving and maintaining at least a B average in school,? Lettner says. ?An earned privilege is more dear to a teen.?
Parents can set the expectation that ongoing, trustworthy behavior is required for the teen to keep that driving privilege. Then notice and affirm the teen?s positive behavior.
Discuss positive risks
Risk-taking ? even when it has possibly negative consequences ? makes teens feel good. Parents can steer teens in the direction of healthy risks, such as trying out for a sports team or auditioning for a play. Encourage them to try new activities, such as snowboarding or entering an art show.
Be prepared to help them make the arrangements; according to brain research, a teen?s planning and strategy skills aren?t fully developed yet. However, parents who overdo it on help can easily ruin a teen?s self-confidence and desire to take a new risk independently.
Taking healthy risks and facing the consequences, from criticism and failure to praise and success, helps teens gain important life skills, such as confidence, courage and the ability to plan and resist impulses.
When it comes to negative risk-taking, it?s ideal for parents to talk with teens well before they find themselves in danger, whether it?s experimenting with drugs, cheating on a test, shop lifting, riding with a drunk driver or some other bad decision. Describe the short- and long-term consequences of negative risks: ?If you cheat, you?ll get a bad grade and you may not graduate. Without a diploma, you may not find a good job.? Use examples from news items, movies, books, TV shows, personal experiences ? whatever it takes to make the point hit home with teens.
Remind teens that it?s not only family that places limits on what they can and cannot do. Speeding and underage drinking, for instance, are against the law. This type of conversation can help teens understand the transition from being dependent on parents to independence in society as law-abiding, responsible citizens.
Role model wisely
All brains, including the teen brain, learn most effectively by example. Many experts agree that parents are much more effective role modeling small daily actions rather than having one big talk about important topics: how you treat your partner and strangers; how you handle stress, time and money.
If your family?s activities ? even camping trips, birthday parties, and other celebrations ? include alcohol and drinking, that?s what your child will grow to perceive as normal, and that won?t likely change in their teenage years, Lettner says.
Your teen is always watching, and that?s how his or her brain is learning to be an adult.
Kim Seidel is the mother of 14-year-old and 10-year-old daughters. She is discovering the teen brain research highly useful for both children in everyday life.
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Category: 2013_August, Parenting, Relationships
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